Archive for January 2008
I wish more commercials were like this, but I would expect nothing less from Bob (who owns a plaque). The highlights include an unexplained guy in a mask a children’s menu on a heavy slab of wood.
I’m glad that the internet did not exist in its current form when I was a kid because who knows what random shit of mine would have found itself online. Case in point: a nine year old writes some really bad Half Life fan fiction which then gets turned into the script for some truly awesome animation (featuring the world’s coolest motorcycle). I am a little conflicted about posting this since, at its core, it is really just making fun of some poor kid. Nevertheless, it is funny as hell so here it is.
Kevin Koster went through all the original Incredible Hulk TV shows and came up with every reason why Banner became the Hulk. The full list is worth checking out, here are my favorites:
- Dealing with a pesky operator in a phone booth (“I DON’T HAVE TWENTY-FIVE CENTS!!!”)
- Being tied up and fed soup by an elderly Japanese woman who doesn’t
understand words like “You’ve GOT to cut me loose!”
- Getting his jacket caught in the printwheels at the newspaper printing room,
and then inexplicably sticking his hand into the rollers
- Somehow locking himself in an old, dark basement, and then nearly
electrocuting himself (really has to be seen to be believed)
- Being stuck in a cab in New York rush hour traffic – “You don’t understand, I
have to be there by 4:00!” – “Hey, mac, it’s rush hour, we ain’t gettin’ there til five,
so relax.” – “BUT I HAVE TO BE THERE BY FOUR!!!”
- Being stuck in the police department’s voice mail system when he knows his
friend is about to be the next lobotomy subject, only to have the police finally
pick up the phone after he’s turning into the Hulk
- Wandering into an Army dump to get the deadly canister of army nerve gas
that has blinded his friend, only to be caught by a mean MP who knocks his gas
mask off and throws him back down the hill, knocking the canister open so that
David can frantically try to put his mask back on before looking up to see that the
MP has somehow brought in a crane and is dumping two tons of garbage on him
(this is an unusually bizarre situation)
- Trying to run away from the nasty prison work camp, only to fall through a
rotted bridge, and then being bitten by a rattlesnake
Cracked has a great list of their 10 most laughably misleading ads. My favorites are:
Ike Berger’s Five Minute Power Shaper: The in-depth look at what it is like to use a gym is eclipsed only by the greatness of the old lady flailing about with her Power Shaper.
Pasta Pro: We all know how difficult it is to use a colander, but the impatient husband and kids in this ad will have none of your excuses.
Handy Peel: This starts out as a just a goofy ad for a pointless product until she starts working on more phallic vegetables. Remember, you can “enjoy corn with no strings attached.”
Read the full article here.